Raising an army of responsible black fathers
While everybody is riding on some #menaretrash hashtag.
I had a previlege of being shown around what my fellow brothers down in my home town, Port Elizabeth were doing. Oh! man, did I find gold, diamond and pearls all in one packet from my hood or what? A perfect love story that will send you weeping this father's day week.
Yes, this week I thought let me warm your precious hearts a little with this great love and work done by my fellow black brothers ie uMhlobo Wenene Fm youth programme presenter Sizwe aka Slyso Saliso, Bantu Mtshiselwa,Sebenzile Zalabe and Luvuyo Star Nyembezi.
I thought I should share what these guys have been up to since the news of the arrival of their bundle of joy in this world. The kind of men that we do not often read about or hear their good deeds until around this time of the year. But this team make you believe every word South African eighties pop star, Ricarddo Groenewald sang on his hit song, I Love you daddy. If you thought Will Smith's just the two of us hit was meant for the Americans, think again.
This fatherhood quartet are the brains behind #BlackFathersStandUpZA a movement that aims at opening conversations around fatherhood especially in the hood where majority of households are ran by single mothers.
According to statistics South Africa, 61% of the children born in the country last year were fatherless. Meaning no details of the fathers were recorded at the time of birth and the same percentage did not live with their father.
"The first day I hold my boy, I had butterflies in my stomach. I couldn't believe that this thing I had anticipated for so long was finally here. Forget circumcision but from that day forth, I truly became a man," said Saliso whose personal instagram account will have any single lady melting and dreaming to be that perfect wife.
He has filed almost every bonding moment he has shared with his now twelve year old son. Slyso also shares his life lessons through his love for music with son and the range varies from the old school R n B to actually watching Micheal Jackson's This is It together.
"I've been there from day one bought car seats for her mother and changed many dippers. It is so beautiful to watch him grow really.
These four brothers-one I met in primary school many years ago, the other other three through my work as a community newspaper journalist in my town- are here to change the game and provide more visibility on fathers that are present in their children's life. Through their daily experience they want to open up discussions as well as influence other male figures to be present in their children's life.
Oh boy! do they practise what they preach? A scroll down their personal account you will be floaded with pictures and videos and some poetry adorable poetry."My life was never the same. I'm far from a perfect father but that does not stop us from being in love"
Campaign manager, Bantu Mtshiselwa,says everything was started out of frustration from the society especially the black community. Tshiselwa, who was raised by a single mother and is familiar with what the fatherless children are going through said.
"We also wanted to highlight that there are fathers who are present in their children's lives and create a debate and a support system for them. But not forgetting to motivate others to take part in it as well", he said.
The aim is to breakaway from the tradition of what role men must do domestically and understand everyone whether the child was planned or not should take responsibility for their action. " Impregnate a woman can be scary,think of it like causing an accident. There are those drivers who will say shit, what have I done and start running. Then there are those that say, ok this has happened and how do we make the most out of it. How do we enjoy this blessing...It is a blessing and an everlasting love".
The initiative comes into two folds, community talks and online campaigns. The first on is spreading the message by holding regular community gatherings to converse and to engage on this problem to find solutions together as men. On our gatherings we invite a panel of experts on legal matters, on psychological effects and we include traditional community leaders to engage and teach the audience on the consequences of being an absent father for the community as an entity.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kK8_e8dfrswMXZZP6jeI7D7sWfwpttvH/view
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